Not That Good
by Lozzarah
Summary: Bella tells Carlisle about the morphine during her transformation. All vampires. Post Breaking Dawn. One-shot. Canon.


**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**A/N: **I originally wrote this as a challenge but never entered it. It's supposed to be when Bella tells Carlisle that the morphine didn't work.

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For the past two and a half weeks I've been trying to find a way to talk to Carlisle without Edward hearing. And the opportunity has finally presented itself. I had forgotten that I had to tell him my information earlier due to the entire Volturi debacle. At the moment, only Esme, Jasper and I are at the house. Rosalie and Alice are shopping. They don't seem to believe that Renesmee has enough clothes and toys as it is. I mentally roll my eyes at the thought. Emmett went with them to carry bags. Not that he went willingly. His face when Rosalie promised she would "castrate that Jeep and then throw it in a ravine" was priceless. Edward has taken Renesmee to the park. She noticed it from the car yesterday and was curious.

I tell Esme that I am going to join Edward and Renesmee at the park, I swiftly run through the woods making a not-so-snap decision to go to the hospital instead. Alice should be effectively blocked now. Checking in at the small town hospital's front desk, I am informed that I should find Carlisle on the top, or third, floor of the hospital in his office.

Upon exiting the elevator I catch Carlisle's scent. Following it down the corridor I quickly find myself outside a door with a small silver plaque which simply reads: "Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.". As I knock a soft "Come on in, Bella" can be heard through the door. As I walk in Carlisle starts talking.

"Hello Bella dear. I trust everything is well, you seem far too calm for there to be trouble." He smiles warmly at me as he says this. It's true. I'm sure he is remembering last week Alice had a vision of two nomads in the area whom upon discovering us were supposed to wreak havoc in our name. Rose and I practically flew through the corridors, slightly faster than a human (thankfully no one was around), to inform Carlisle. After all our experiences, surely what turned out to be a dramatic reaction was to be expected. Right? The nomads only stayed for three hours and fifteen minutes. Leaving after they talked with Carlisle and agreed not to hunt in our area.

"Of course everything's fine Carlisle. I just need to speak with you. If you're not busy that is." I add.

"I actually have one patient that I need to check on now. Will you be alright for fifteen minutes or is it urgent?" He asks me, seeming worried.

I smile to show that it is fine. "No, it's not urgent. I'll wait here if that's OK?"

"That's fine. I'll be back as fast as humanly possible." We both laughed at this as he left the office.

I meander around the room while I wait. We haven't been here long enough for the office to be personalised a lot. I'm actually surprised that Esme hasn't tried to decorate it yet. I find a medical journal on the desk. Deciding to use my time productively I read through the book. Of course, at vampire speed I finish as Carlisle walks back through the door.

He smiles when he sees I was reading the journal. "Thinking of trying to give me a run for my money someday, Bella?"

Laughing, I shake my head. "I would never dream of bothering to attempt such a thing, though it would surely be an admirable goal."

Carlisle gives me a proud smile, though I could swear I saw a slightly smug glint in his eyes, if only for a second. Getting back on topic I turn to face him after replacing the journal on his desk.

"Carlisle, I actually came here to talk to you about something. I don't want Edward to know, which is why I came to the hospital."

Carlisle's eyes look worried when I say that I don't want Edward to know. So, I quickly reassure him that I am not leaving or doing anything wrong. I just need to speak with him.

"I'm immensely glad that this is the case. I must say, you had me somewhat frightened for a second there. What is it that you wished to discuss with me?" I can tell by his tone just how relieved he is.

"Well, you see...uhm..." I' not really sure how to broach the subject. He seemed so pleased after my transformation that I hate to do this to him.

"Is everything alright, dear? You know you can tell me absolutely anything, don't you?"

"Of course, Carlisle. I'm just..."I fumble for the right word. "...sad with what I need to tell you."

Understandably, he appears concerned but motions for me to continue.

"Well, I just wanted to tell you this, in case you ever needed to use it again." He looksconfused now, so I press on. "You remember my change, I'm sure." He nods. I look away. I really don't wish to see his face as I tell him the next part. "The morphine, well, I'm really sorry to need to tell you this, but...the morphine didn't help. The pain was the same as when James bit me, though, spread out because of the transformation." I wait a minute but when nothing is said I look up.

He doesn't look hurt, or angry, just disappointed and slightly regretful. Then, all of a sudden, he stares straight into my eyes, looking confused.

"But Bella, you were silent throughout the entire process. How...did...Oh!" Realisation of why I was quiet must have hit him. "You stayed quiet for Edward didn't you?" At my nod, he appears in front of me, hugging me. "You're such a brave person, Isabella. And to have done that just for Edward..." He trails off, pulling back and smiling at me.

"That's why you can't tell him I was here. He'd put all the blame on himself."

Carlisle nods and I get up to leave.

"Thanks for listening Carlisle, but now, I must join my husband and my daughter at the park." I smile hugely as I say this, hug Carlisle, and leave.

As I get to the park, my phone buzzes, signalling a message. Alice.

_Saw everything. You're not that good at blocking me. Don't worry. Won't tell E. –A._

At this I laugh, delete the message and join my family near the swings.

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A/N: **This is actually the first thing I wrote. I just edited it, attempting to get my tense correct.

Reviews are appreciated. Thanks. =)

-Lauren.


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